What to Write?

I'm sitting here trying to decide what to write about.

I was skimming the past week's blog entries and I realized everything was so superficial. Blah blah blah.

I think in this next transition I have a choice, I can give you the high points, or the low points. Trust me, there are low points, but I don't feel the need to open up quite that much online about how vulnerable I feel. 

Which is completely true.

I feel vulnerable.

I am more sensitive.

I am more cautious.

I think this is normal. I realize that this too shall pass, but for now, it's real and it's happening. 

It happens when I pray. It happens when I slow down long enough to allow my thoughts to catch up with me. I'm a solver, and when I stop long enough to quit solving the problem, my more vulnerable side rears its ugly head.

BUT.. I am feeling more happiness than usual. That piece has tilted a little more on the scale, a little more in my favor. Before it was sadness on the heavy side, and happiness from time to time. Now it's happiness on the heavy side and sadness from time to time.

I'm handling it all. I'm doing the best I can. 


With all of that being said, and really nothing at ALL being said.. I will close. 

That's just where I am..;-)

 

Taking Stock

It's easy to go up and down when SO many life changes have taken place. You would think I was trying my best to live up to my blog title!

As I was napping with my two kitty cats (yes, they actually lay all around me/on me and we sleep together,) I woke up and began thinking about how different my life is now. I was trying to imagine just one year ago. Where was I one year ago? The beauty is, I can answer that question, because I document it all here. Funny thing is, I wrote a piece called Why I Love Macon. Then I realized where was I at my last birthday? Which would have been only a few months before the "Why I Love Macon" post. I skipped back to February 2012 and.. well.. CLICK HERE. I was unemployed. My then husband lived in Los Angeles and I was sleeping on a couch.

Look what has happened in just 15 months.

My life has completely flipped upside down.

But I think that whole journey... that whole process.. was fate and completely a part of my story. Yes, I have lost so much in the past two years, but I have also gained opportunity, something that seemed out of reach for so long. The sun is peeking through the clouds, I'm jovial and silly, and all thanks be to God - I have hope.

Where are you at these days?

Best Bet

What is better than getting off work, going to the grocery store and walking out with the one thing you want? Nothing.

What I mean by this - I wanted salsa for dinner.

Now I have salsa and chips. Done.

I'd don't have to cook for anyone.

It's awesome!.

I don't think divorce was supposed to be this much fun?!

To be honest, the only time I get a little choked up is when I pray. It's not so much a prayer of sadness or loneliness, it is more so when I pray for him. I do. I pray for people who have wronged me, and it hurts to think of what I put up with. 

Outside of that, I'm doing pretty darn good. I'm busy at work, busy with the kitties, busy with my "other activities"... everything.

I have a busy weekend lined up - I have to work Saturday and Sunday we celebrate the museum founder's 80th birthday. Busy. Busy. Busy.

I was even asked out on a date, but I don't think I am ready for that. Not sure how that would work.. and honestly, I don't think we have too much in common. When he said, "I mean.. anyone who votes for Obama is an idiot..." well.. all I could do was giggle. Yep. 

There you have it. A southern girl surrounded by conservative billy bobs. Not off to a good start. lol

No worries.. I have a wonderful book calling my name... good friends just a phone call away and a bed just screaming for me to get some sleep!

Adventures of Zen Kitty

I was laying on my couch, watching Long Island Medium... wondering whether or not a medium is for real... when I notice Salvatore is pacing the kitchen. I finally get up and take my empty glass to the kitchen... 

I hear this odd scratching sound, sort of like mice in the walls.

I look around and open the cabinets, just waiting to see something horrid, figuring that's why Salvatore was pacing... then I hear the mewing..

"Meow... Meow." 

Me: "Zen Kitty? Salvatore?"

"Mew... Mew.. meow.. *scratch scratch scratch*"

Then suddenly I locate where the sound is coming from.. the base boards in the kitchen.

"Zen kitty? Where are you?"

"Mew.. Mew.."

Then I see this tiny arm try to reach me. "Oh My God, Zen Kitty... what have you gotten yourself into?"

I put my hand into the hole and realized he was stuck, and how he got into the baseboard of the cabinet was a mystery.

I got down on all fours and noticed that there were two nails keeping this one board attached to the cabinets. I jumped up and yelled, "I'm coming for you Zen Kitty.. don't go anywhere."

I anxiously run to the utility room to look for my screw driver. No dice. I looked in the kitchen drawers - NOTHING. I am raising my voice saying over and over, "Oh no.. oh no. Zen baby.. I'm coming sweet heart," while the the little kitty kept trying to pull himself out.

I grab my phone and tried to think of who would be awake and who could help me. I called my friend Margaret first, thinking okay.. she seems very resourceful, maybe she could help. Again - no dice. She did not answer. I finally got through to my sister...

Here I was, laying on the floor of the kitchen, pouring sweat, using a pair of scissors to try to unscrew this one nail, and the phone is on the floor in front of me on speaker. 

Heather: What's going on?
Me: Zen kitty is stuck in the base boards. I need help.
Heather: What?
Me: I need a screw driver... I can't.. I'm trying... Oh Zen Kitty.. I'm coming..
Heather: What kind of screw driver do you need?
Me: I don't know *panic in my voice* I just don't know.
Heather: A Phillips Head? A Flat Head?
Me: It looks like a cross or star
Heather: Okay.. a Phillips Head. I'll be there in a few minutes.

She hangs up the phone. I keep using the scissors, trying like crazy to unscrew the board.. and suddenly, one nail came out! One to go.

It WOULD NOT BUDGE.

I decided to pull out my Wonder Woman powers and I RIPPED the board out - the strip at the bottom came off, the nails fell out and Zen Kitty was free.

I picked him up, pointed my finger at him and yelled, "You know curiosity killed the cat. You could have died!"

Finally my sister arrives and she repairs the base board, and covered the hole. Her new name should be MacGyver. She was able to take the cover of a composition book, two nails, a dish rag and my zebra print duck tape and cover the hole.

I continued to scold Zen Kitty.. and she kept turning around and adding, 'But Zen - she loves you."

Finally - she finished and left. Zen kitty went into time out.

Title: Good Times

I am determined to keep this momentum. I feel good - I'm laughing - I'm living.
If you've been following for a while, you know I believe that music is the best therapist. It's cheaper too! ;-)

I created a NEW playlist on my Iphone and I am playing it out.

I will share the top 5 songs getting some serious play time in my car! All for creating the best-mood-ever!

Enjoy.. and tell me which song is your favorite? 

PS - All of these songs - I love the beat, I love the lyrics.. everything!

  Oh what the heck... here's one more from the list... Best post divorce songs! :-)